Change #3

 Right before my maternity leave ended in mid-November, I decided to resign from my job. Instead of another job in accounting, I will be staying home full-time with Ethan, Jordan, and Leah. A big change. But one that I felt was due. Before we know it, our kids will be in school and our lives will only get more scheduled. It seemed like it was time to slow things down. To be the mom I wanted to be. I wanted to be with them more, wanted to know them better, wanted to guide them and encourage them as they grew. Part of me is terrified. Will I spend most of my day feeling frustrated? Feeling like a failure? I don't want to. I want to have fun, hear laughter, answer questions, introduce them to new things, and create an atmosphere of warmth, growth, and safety. I want to create boundaries and structure, but I also want to give them the opportunity to relax, rest, and build a strong foundation within our family. I don't want to stress myself out with a rigid structure with specific learning objectives, but I also don't want to ignore them as I do housework or plan meals. I'll find that balance eventually. I resolve to be patient with myself.

My last day at work was December 23. The week after Christmas was the longest stretch of time that the kids have been home (away from day care) since they were home with me on maternity leave during their first 12 weeks of life. Matt was on Christmas break this week, so it was a nice transition into our new life.

I came home on my last day to beautiful flowers from my boys and some sweet drawings. Change can be hard for me, but I am looking forward to this new chapter. It will be an adventure!